Saturday, April 16, 2011

Wheat Flour, Water, Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Egg, Salt, Sodium Bicarbonate, Natural and Artificial Flavor, FD&C Yellow #5 & #6

Wheat Flour, Water, Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Egg, Salt, Sodium Bicarbonate, Natural and Artificial Flavor, FD&C Yellow #5 & #6.

Because I've always wondered what exactly is IN a fortune cookie.

I wasn't sure.

But I'm glad there's no eye of newt. Or fang of half-undead, lost midget, ghost, zombie, thing... short zombies... in clown costumes... o.O Thanks for the nightmares...

Where were we?Oh, yeah...

Greetings, Evildoers,

We ate Chinese today.
Chinese food... not people.

I'm not sure what other cultures think of it, but here in America it's considered VERY rude to eat Chinese people.

Anyway. They gave us fortune cookies. now, there were three of us eating, but we ordered take-out, and got enough for five people. So they put five cookies in the bag. My sister took one... and I got the rest. :D Four fortunes for the Rafe.

My first fortune cookie: "Others appreciate your good sense of humor today."Well I sure as @#$%$ Hope SO!!!!

^I'm not sure how you're supposed to take that either... it was just fun to write. :)

My second fortune cookie: "A pleasant surprise is in store for you soon."
Ooh... I wonder what it is... *Grins like a child with a sugar high*

My third fortune cookie: "Focus on your long-term goal. Good things will soon happen."
Only one problem... I don't wanna focus on my long-term goal. :( I wanna focus on my Chinese (food) I'm eating. then i stop to ponder... wth are my long-term goals? Money? Fame? Glory? Overlord? Oh yeah... that was it... Overlord...

My fourth fortune cookie (by this time I'm pretty full...): "Your personality is fueled by the fascination you feel for life."
I'm not even sure what to say that. It's not a fortune. It's a statement of spurious factitude. Gee... "Factitude" is actually a word... I have no idea if I'm using it correctly, and I'm too full to find the energy to look it up.

My fifth fortune cookie: "Keep an eye open for an opportunity in the field of sports."
Now I know something's up. Not only has it abandoned fortunes, it's gone to ordering me around. ME? You (little cookie) have the guts to tell ME (a future co-overlord of the world) what to keep an eye out for? I'm not even any good at sports!!!! >:O

*Note to self: When in angry tirade, don't point out what you're not good at.

I'm really only good at one athletic(ish) thing. That's repelling. I mean, seriously... I've been repelling girls for years.

Okay... I only ate five fortune cookies.

Otherwise my stomach would hurt even more, and I'd have more for you. Alas, I really must take a nap and then get back to school. (I'm doing ethics. The ethics of how we treat animals before we kill, cook, and eat them. I'm like "Who give a crap? We're going to eat them. Doesn't that kind of make us the bad guys anyway?" But others say "FREE THE CHICKENS!" So, I'm going to be realistic and say "Okay, can we still kill, cook, and eat them if we pamper them before we do it?" We'll see what happens. Wish me luck.)


And, as per my usual request,
Go do some evil! ;)


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