Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I was cruel(ish) to my sister. I pulled her name in the "secret Santa" and was supposed to get her a gift. Thpbpbpbt. I'm cheap... and poor.
I've been told for years that anticipation is the best part. So, being cheap and poor, I decided I could fit "anticipation" into my limited budget. I decided to actually gift her anticipation. :)
So a week or so before Christmas I placed a large, beautifully wrapped box under the tree. It was the largest package beneath the tree (something I was very proud of, and announced to the family several times.) The anticipation of opening the BIGGEST package under the tree must be great. Even I was excited, and I knew its contents!
Come Christmas morning I handed her the package. She tore at the beautiful wrapping paper and then found the box duct taped shut. So I got her a knife.
She cut open her box and discovered...
Another beautifully wrapped package.
She tore open the gift wrap and found another duct taped box. She used the knife again.
She cut open her box and discovered...
Another beautifully wrapped package!
She ripped off that wrapping paper and found (can you guess?) another duct taped box. :) Knife.
ANOTHER beautifully wrapped package!
(Was I too mean?)
Paper tearing, knife, discovery:
ANOTHER beautifully wrapped package.
:D :D :D
Box, duct tape, knife... then!
Somehow she cut her hand on the cardboard. Go figure. It wasn't the knife, she'd already put that down.
AND SHE DISCOVERS:
ANOTHER... no. She got a Guard Duck T-shirt.
Did you think I was a total monster?
Sheesh! Just because I act like an ass doesn't mean I gift like one. :P
What did I get for Christmas? Well... I'm glad you asked.
I got an old fashioned pair of blue-tinted sun-spectacles. I got a hands-free Loupe. (You know those things the jewelers use to look awkwardly closely at diamonds? Yeah, that's a loupe. I got one that attaches to your head with a long strip of metal. It makes me look like a cyborg.) Now all I need is some diamonds to look at awkwardly closely. :D (Of course I need you to know that "Resistance is Futile...")
(Note: Despite it being the Borg's catchphrase from Star Trek: The Next Generation, the line "Resistance is Futile" was first uttered on television by a Dalek in the British sci-fi series Doctor Who.)
I also got LEGOs, a coffee mug with Doctor Who quotes and a picture of the Doctor's timey-wimey detector, new PJ's, and a pair of slippers.
And books. One of which was written by Richard Castle. THE Fictional Richard Castle. A TV character wrote this book. (Somehow, just a moment ago, I was trying to type the word "wrote" and almost typed "whore." Do Freudian slips apply to blogging?)
As we all know, or should know (some of us may be stupid) New Year follows about a week after Christmas. New years mark new beginnings, old endings, and somebody drops a ball in New York. W/E
Outdated Office Literature:
I hold under my chin two pamphlets I picked up at the Doctor's office today. (Or yesterday, the day before or further back in time, depending on when you read this. But, as of my writing this, it was today that I picked up these pamphlets.)
It is December 29th, 2010. The first pamphlet is a "Bike for MS" thing. You know those deals where you ride a bike for a brazillian (approximately 100 canadans) of miles and someone donates money? Yeah. One of those.
There was a whole stack of these suckers in the office, and they must have been there for months. The LAST MS ride advertised is scheduled for September 26th. Haha... and no one picked up a pamphlet?
It gets better (unless you think this is boring... then it just keeps being boring.)
The other pamphlet is for an MS walk. And ITS last walk is dated for MAY FIRST of 2010!!!!
Full stack in the Doc's office.
Apparently no one wanted to walk for MS. Go figure. I did my civic duty by picking up the pamphlets, and... blogging about how they should update their reading material. I guess you could say I'm "raising awareness." Or... something.
Where was I?
And... etc. I'm Done.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Okay, so here's the deal. I spend WAAAAY too much time on facebook. So I have decided, and the decisions already made, to restrict my time on facebook to nil indefinitely. :\ January 1st, 2011 will be my last day on facebook for quite some time. I am going to suspend my account.
I need to consentrate on my health, my writing, and my education... and maybe even stop being a lazy bum and get a job. (But that's low on the list.) However I want to continue my rants well into next year and beyond. So I have decided to blog more.
Now, now, I know blogs feel totally different from my usual means of complaining about life and (hopefully) garnering a few smiles along the way. But I feel that I will benefit from a more disciplined attack on life. So, please, if you enjoy my rants follow my blog. Comment, laugh, love, spit, or even ignore me.
But remember--always remember!
Oh well. We were going to talk about Pen Names.
Or I was.
I don't know.
(Nor do I care, really.)
Uh... where were we?
Pen names! Do you have a pen name? (Are you even a writer?) I know some people with very nice names who have decided to have pen names. I have several. The only one I'm going to share with you, however, is "Magillichetti." I am Magillichetti.
(I even have a woman's name as one of mine. Weird, huh?)
Now, I know some of you know my pen names, but what's the good of a pen name if EVERYONE has one? So I'm telling you... NOT telling you mine. ;)
I watched the Lunar Eclipse early the morning of the 21st. (I Know I Capitalize Things Where They Shouldn't Be. Live With It.) The point is I spent a couple hours lying on my back staring at the moon with friends, family, and complete strangers who claimed to know my friends and family. I would have protested their presence, but we were in their yard. :\
Yeah, that's all I got. :)
Ciao for now!
I promise to try to be funnier in the future. And to try to write about once a week.
For your entertainment... some famous pen names:
Charles Dickens (according to wikipedia anyway) wrote as "Boz."
Lewis Carroll was actually Charles Lutwidge Dodgson
C.S. Lewis once published under N.W. Clerk, and also Clive Hamilton
Everyone knows Silence Dogood was Benjamin Franklin
Isaac Asimov wrote as Paul French
James Herriot was James Alfred Wight
Robert Jordan was actually James Oliver Rigney, Jr.
Washington Irving wrote as Diedrich Knickerbocker
Ann Landers was Esther Pauline Friedman
Stan Lee was Stanley Martin Lieber
Ellery Queen was Frederic Dannay and Manfred B. Lee
Dr. Seuss was Theodor Suess Giesel
Mark Twain was Samuel Longhorne Clemens
Voltaire was Francoise-Marie Arouet
Peace out, dudes and dudettes!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
To begin with I was going to Church. I'm Catholic and I was gonna go to confession. In the gathering space outside the church I ran into a young girl who wanted to talk... about tornados. ??? Okay, I realize I'm ruggedly handsome and all around great looking; I'm possibly even drop-dead gorgeous, but what the hell? There was no, "How's the weather?" "What's up?" "Where do you work?" or any other conversation starters. It was "what's your name?" then "TORNADOS! Tornado, tornado, tornado..." OI! Lalala!
She wasn't even obsessed with herself. It wasn't all "memememememmeme!!!! OI! Lalala!"
I spent ten minutes hearing stories (most likely fictional) about tornado horrors. I gleaned only a little information about her. 1) Her name (I hesitate to share it on here) 2) She's afraid of tornados and 3) she places WAY too much value on her electronic media. She protects her iPod, DVD player, CD's, CD player, DVD's and such almost more than her life. Good gravy! (Bad gravy too...)
The best part was when she said "Back in the 1800's or the 1940's, when they had tornados ... they didn't have warning." (My bet is on 1940's, cuz it turned into a story about her grandfather who "tends to know when tornados are coming" and how the other people didn't believe him. I think they died in the end. Amazing, huh? Don't ignore warnings from weirdo-chick's grandpa!) Anyway, I was curious how someone could be unsure if it happend in the 19th century or the 1940's.
You got an idea?
So, the moral of the story is... don't die from tornados, and the 1800's and the 1940's are VERY confusing.
Would they be more confusing IN A TANK??? Tell me what YOU think.
I know at least nobody reads this thing... so I'm wondering... how do I up my readership? Am I not hilarious?
I admit I'm not...
If I had a good story I'd tell you... but all I have is ramblings and coffee mugs... I wonder if maybe I just stick a bunch of random labels and key-words so that people will more easily google my blog if I can up my readership just by randomly having dolts who happen to like rambling blogs stumble randomly on my random blog! Random!
But I digress.
I'm going to my "Theatre Appreciation" class tonight, and it's sure to be... interesting. It's not always fun, and I miss the party at my house cuz of it, but it's kind of educational or something. I dunno. It'll help with the "degree" thing that everyone is so obsessed with.
It's a fun class when I get all A's, but I'm holding a B. I'm thinking of suing my school... can I sue them for my lack of effort?
You tell me. State your opinions!!!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Anyway... have you ever considered that everything, no matter what, is MORE SO when it is in a tank? I mean like a Sherman Tank. A good ol' fashioned killing machine! Think about it!
What's the coolest thing you can think of? Go for it! Okay... Batman... (is Batman seriously the coolest thing you can think of? Sheesh...) Anyway Batman IN A TANK! Or go with something cooler like Over the Hedge IN A TANK! Do you like geeks? I do. But wouldn't they be much geekier IN A TANK!?? I think so. Everything is more so whatever it is when it is inside a tank.
Okay, what's the scariest thing in the world? Wouldn't Norman Bates be much, much more Psycho-ish if he attacked the shower IN A TANK!?? That'd scare the pants off me... if I wasn't already naked... seeing as it's a shower and all... (Don't be pervy. (Almost) everyone showers naked.)
What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen? A three legged zebra playing with a dead raccoon? IN A TANK! Being told "It's too bad you're a guy, you'd make a great girl," IN A TANK!
You get the point?
You give me some examples: I wanna know what you've seen or has happened to you that would be much more so had it been in a tank.
Oi, Magillichetti out!