Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Christmas, New Years, Outdated Office Literature, and stuff etc.

Christmas was good. Better, actually.

Okay, first:

I was cruel(ish) to my sister. I pulled her name in the "secret Santa" and was supposed to get her a gift. Thpbpbpbt. I'm cheap... and poor.

I've been told for years that anticipation is the best part. So, being cheap and poor, I decided I could fit "anticipation" into my limited budget. I decided to actually gift her anticipation. :)

So a week or so before Christmas I placed a large, beautifully wrapped box under the tree. It was the largest package beneath the tree (something I was very proud of, and announced to the family several times.) The anticipation of opening the BIGGEST package under the tree must be great. Even I was excited, and I knew its contents!

Come Christmas morning I handed her the package. She tore at the beautiful wrapping paper and then found the box duct taped shut. So I got her a knife.
She cut open her box and discovered...

Another beautifully wrapped package.

She tore open the gift wrap and found another duct taped box. She used the knife again.
She cut open her box and discovered...

Another beautifully wrapped package!

She ripped off that wrapping paper and found (can you guess?) another duct taped box. :) Knife.

ANOTHER beautifully wrapped package!

(Was I too mean?)

Paper tearing, knife, discovery:

ANOTHER beautifully wrapped package.

:D :D :D

Box, duct tape, knife... then!

Somehow she cut her hand on the cardboard. Go figure. It wasn't the knife, she'd already put that down.


ANOTHER... no. She got a Guard Duck T-shirt.

Did you think I was a total monster?

Sheesh! Just because I act like an ass doesn't mean I gift like one. :P

What did I get for Christmas? Well... I'm glad you asked.
I got an old fashioned pair of blue-tinted sun-spectacles. I got a hands-free Loupe. (You know those things the jewelers use to look awkwardly closely at diamonds? Yeah, that's a loupe. I got one that attaches to your head with a long strip of metal. It makes me look like a cyborg.) Now all I need is some diamonds to look at awkwardly closely. :D (Of course I need you to know that "Resistance is Futile...")

(Note: Despite it being the Borg's catchphrase from Star Trek: The Next Generation, the line "Resistance is Futile" was first uttered on television by a Dalek in the British sci-fi series Doctor Who.)

I also got LEGOs, a coffee mug with Doctor Who quotes and a picture of the Doctor's timey-wimey detector, new PJ's, and a pair of slippers.

And books. One of which was written by Richard Castle. THE Fictional Richard Castle. A TV character wrote this book. (Somehow, just a moment ago, I was trying to type the word "wrote" and almost typed "whore." Do Freudian slips apply to blogging?)

As we all know, or should know (some of us may be stupid) New Year follows about a week after Christmas. New years mark new beginnings, old endings, and somebody drops a ball in New York. W/E

Outdated Office Literature:

I hold under my chin two pamphlets I picked up at the Doctor's office today. (Or yesterday, the day before or further back in time, depending on when you read this. But, as of my writing this, it was today that I picked up these pamphlets.)

It is December 29th, 2010. The first pamphlet is a "Bike for MS" thing. You know those deals where you ride a bike for a brazillian (approximately 100 canadans) of miles and someone donates money? Yeah. One of those.
There was a whole stack of these suckers in the office, and they must have been there for months. The LAST MS ride advertised is scheduled for September 26th. Haha... and no one picked up a pamphlet?

It gets better (unless you think this is boring... then it just keeps being boring.)
The other pamphlet is for an MS walk. And ITS last walk is dated for MAY FIRST of 2010!!!!

Full stack in the Doc's office.

Apparently no one wanted to walk for MS. Go figure. I did my civic duty by picking up the pamphlets, and... blogging about how they should update their reading material. I guess you could say I'm "raising awareness." Or... something.

Where was I?


And... etc. I'm Done.



  1. So, Mags (do you mind if I call you mags?) I read through your post, and unlike others, I don't really care if you swear off Facebook for life. Probably, because I'll usually check it for five minutes and them leave, and not spend my life obsessing over it. Anyway, I too am a fan of pen names (and I know I'm commentin on the wrong post. sue me.) and have one for myself for some things I'm working on. And if you're a good boy, I'll tell it to you some day. If you tell me where the diamonds are. Tell me!

  2. Mags is fine, Jimbo.
    But I will sue you for commenting on the wrong post.
    I'll never tell you where the diamonds are though. They're... precious to me.

    (Is your pen name "Ferdy Frankfurt"?)